Feeling nervous

Surgery number 6 is in 3 days! I am starting to get nervous now. I know I should be “an old pro” at this, but I am not ever going to be able to get used to having surgery. Today, to get my mind off of it, I went and got my hair done., a few highlights and a fresh haircut, what a way to start the day. Then I had time to begin worrying again. Thankfully, I got my mind off of it by painting my nails yellow for Endometriosis Awareness Month. Then I took a nap and woke up with a headache. Luckily for me, it has since subsided.

I am wondering if I will cry. I mean, I haven’t really mourned my tubes. The left one came out last May, it didn’t bother me because I had my right one. As of Thursday, they will both be gone. No natural miracles. I will be tubeless. I think it’s just starting to hit me.

What’s unfamiliar to me, is that I don’t have too much to do prior to this surgery. There’s no prep, no hotel to stay at the night before, and no planning to bring my toothbrush, because I am actually scheduled to go home the same day. This is foreign to me. My first laparoscopy in 2010, I was supposed to go home, there was no prep then either and I got to stay there overnight in the maternity ward. How ironic! I did go home after the second laparoscopy, but then again he didn’t do anything but poke the holes in my abdomen, pump in the gas, and peek around in there. For the Laparotomy, I didn’t prep, but I did have to be on a clear liquid diet the day before, but we knew my bowels were involved. I really feel I should have done a prep for that one. I was in the hospital for 2 nights with that one. The last two Laps, I had to book the hotel in CT and prep starting from 3pm the day before and once you prep, you really don’t feel like eating anyway. I did have my thermos with chicken broth with me. And for both of those surgeries, I knew I was spending the night in the hospital. My husband always stays with me in the hospitals. The only time he didn’t stay with me, was when I was in the local hospital and he was only 5 monutes away if I needed him.

I am so grateful for my job. I will work tomorrow and Wednesday. We will probably have to leave the house at 3 or 4 in the morning on Thursday. I find out the time tomorrow. My plan is to eat regularly until Wednesday morning and then just drink broth for the rest of the day, just in case. I will probably pack my toothbrush and charger anyway, just in case. Tomorrow, I will sync my iPhone with some more music. I am thinking I should put some Don Henley and the Eagles on there again and maybe download some more Christina Perri.

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About our last embryo

I have Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I've had Lyme, Bell's Palsy and the Shingles before I was 25. I've done IVF twice, with and without immunosuppression and FET. I am married to my best friend and I am Infertile.
This entry was posted in endometriosis awareness, excision surgery for endometriosis, hope and love, infertility, invisible illness and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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