One week today

It’s been a week today. This time last week, I had my hospital gown on and my IV in with fluids flowing, waiting anxiously for my surgery at 11:30am. I had to wait, starving until almost 1pm. I had seen my anesthesiologist, Dr. T and we talked about the last two surgeries. I reminded her that whatever SHE did was great and how she gave me something as they asked me to move to the OR table and I was out.
They wheeled me in the back to wait for surgery about a half hour before that. And as usual, I began to cry. I tend to worry a lot normally, but right before surgery, well, I think about my family and what would happen if it didn’t go well. I mean they have been through enough. Every time I’ve had anesthesia in the last 3 years (10) they’ve been there. Ok, my folks weren’t there for the egg retrieval and I think my husband missed the colonoscopy, but really, they have to work too. Then the two surgeries last year to excise the endo, we knew the first one would be 4 hours, it was 4 &1/2 and the second one was to be the same and turned out to be 6! What if I don’t wake up? How many surgeries can a person have? Well I cried. I allowed myself to do that. Then I went back to self talk, positive affirmations and reiki. I gave myself reiki before surgery to calm my nerves. I also used a phrase I learned in hypnosis and repeated it and my heart rate slowed down. Then they wheeled me into the OR.
It was so bright in there. Wow. They had me in a dim room an then pow, the brightest fluorescent lights ever. They asked me to slide onto the table, where there was a warming device there for me. Kind of reminded me of a terry cloth pool float with heat. Dr. T, the anesthesiologist came in and started chatting with me and I remember her putting her hands under this thing I was laying on. As she was talking to me I started feeling sleepy and pretty good. I asked her if they gave me something already, she smiled and I was out. I guess she figured she would get me on the table first this time.
I’ve already written about waking up, but before that happened, I witnessed a conversation or I dreamt it. It was my family discussing what the plan was for me on Friday. I heard mom say she would come over and get me, and bring me to their house. Then I heard my husband say what about the dogs and would she stay with me if I didn’t want to be around the dogs (in case they’d jump on me). Of course she said yes. Then I woke up. I still don’t know if I had an out of body experience or if I dreamt their exact conversation. Pretty sure I dreamt it, but you never know. Reiki is powerful.
Today, I feel pretty good. Yesterday was a very bad day, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I can bend more, almost sit up straight, get up without feeling too dizzy and I fed the dogs.

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About our last embryo

I have Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I've had Lyme, Bell's Palsy and the Shingles before I was 25. I've done IVF twice, with and without immunosuppression and FET. I am married to my best friend and I am Infertile.
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One Response to One week today

  1. Wow. Hard to believe it’s been one week. My memory fades during the ride down the hallway toward the OR. I remember making it all the way into the bright room during my last surgery. But this time, one moment I was in the hall, then suddenly I was in recovery. Good times.

    So glad you are doing so well, girlie!! 🙂 We are kicking bootie!

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