Pain – it’s real

I had thought that I had felt pain when I had my colposcopy in December of 2009. Peanuts! I thought I had felt pain when I was misdiagnosed with diverticulitis, twice ( I didn’t go into that one, sorry). I thought I had pain with my monthly cramps. Gas, I’m not talking about the audible kind of gas everyone has. No, I’m talking about the kind that makes you so uncomfortable you can’t get it out. You want to stick a needle in your abdomen and let it out. I even thought the laparotomy incision was painful. Well that was way different and I still get some interesting sensations around there. But nothing prepared me for the pain I felt physically after our IVF cycle. I went from elated and pregnant to devastated and in more pain that I never knew was possible. I not only had cramps with my period but shooting pains that went from my hips down the outside of my legs to my knees. It brought me to my knees. It was stabbing and burning pains. My back was also in severe pain, mainly on my left side from my shoulder blade to my butt cheek. I still had bowel problems and now everything was amplified. I couldn’t straighten up, I walked hunched over holding my belly. I had also gained 15LBs from the hormones. I was so grateful to have gotten my job when I did. It was perfect timing. I started just about when I was done with my period/ early pregnancy loss/chemical pregnancy from the IVF cycle. I had to walk upright and pretend life was great. It was. I was alive. U As the weeks passed, I noticed the pains on the sides of my legs and in my back and belly weren’t going away. I decided to go for reiki to help with pain, since I have sensitivities to medications and pain meds. I also went to acupuncture, hypnosis and a chiropractor. I had been in therapy already for a year. It was October. I was pretty much still a newly wed and I wasn’t enjoying it as much as I should have been. Again, my husband was wonderful through all of this. I had confessed to my supervisor that I had endo and was in a lot of pain. She actually had it when she was younger so she understood. She would always ask me if I wanted to go home. I’m sure I didn’t look good. I needed to be there, because at home I would just wallow in my own self pity party. One day, I had to call out sick. I was in pain all morning and I was supposed to start working at 12:30pm, by 11, I made the call. I felt like someone had a voodoo doll of me. It was horrific, nauseating and scary. How could pain be this bad? Stabbing pains in my head, legs, belly, breasts, even my feet and face! I called my mom crying and she drove over to take care of me. I sent a text to my reiki master and begged her to send me reiki, I was moments from the ER and I didn’t want to go to any of them. I hated all the hospitals by now! My mom said I was pale and almost green. I had already taken a 600mg Motrin at noon. That usually knocks me out but I was still shaking and crying. All of a sudden I felt tired and sleepy, it was 3:30pm. My mom said my color came back to my face. Now, I’m normally a pretty pale person so it may sound funny to you if you know me, but I was white! When this happened I got a text from the reiki master asking me how I felt. It worked. She was over 25 miles away and sent me reiki and it worked. I was so tired I fell asleep. I was so grateful. I still am to this day. In march the pain got far worse. Daily pain. Nothing was helping. I was on the hunt for an endometriosis specialist. I was done with RE’s and gynecologists that just weren’t willing to say, I don’t know or it’s beyond my skill!

Photo found on Facebook


About our last embryo

I have Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I've had Lyme, Bell's Palsy and the Shingles before I was 25. I've done IVF twice, with and without immunosuppression and FET. I am married to my best friend and I am Infertile.
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