Emotional day

Today was an emotionally draining day. And I’m not even on the hormones yet!
I was driving to an appointment and listening to my iPod on my iPhone. I was getting choked up listening to a song I don’t normally have a reaction to. I thought it odd at the time.
I went somewhere I hadn’t been in almost a year. When I got there I realized I missed a funeral. It was an overwhelming feeling for me. I am not close with them, I only saw them two or three times a year for the last few years, to groom the dogs, but they’re wonderful people. They live near the water. In fact, after Super-storm Sandy, they were the first ones I thought of, because they live on the water. Why didn’t I call them? I had donated clothes and cleaning supplies to the Hamptons Hurricane Relief Fund to help. I think I was afraid to see how they were and especially how he was doing with chemo. She told me he had chemo that morning and that they only had an inch of water in their basement. They had gone together and when they returned, they couldn’t get to the house due to flooding. It was nice that they were together, but he wasn’t there today and the flag was there. You know, folded in the triangle. There was work not finished in the house and an eerie silence. I couldn’t bring it up. How could she not call? I would have gone to the service, told her how sorry I was. I had been grooming their dogs for years and he always held them. Now there’s only the one dog left. She did call me to groom the dogs and then told me the one dog died the last time I was there. Then, I had surgery so she had to go elsewhere.
When I got in my car, I plugged in my phone, put on my sunglasses, my seatbelt and pulled out of the driveway. I got half way down the road and started to cry. I missed him. Then I thought of something else she said about “cleaning out her mother’s house,” oh man! I cried half way to my parents house. I later found the obituary on google. So sad. I wish I had known.
Then I got to my folks house. I was there a while hanging out on the couch with my old miracle dog, he likes to lay in my lap when I am there. I miss him and his sister every day. His sister was on the couch first, but then went to lay down on the big dog bed. Its so cute everyone tried to get to that dog bed when its available.
My parents were telling me how their dog wasn’t doing well yesterday. As I was getting ready to head home, I went to check her out. Her birthday is on April 19th. She’ll be 14. Maybe. She likes to lay in the sunroom by herself. I walked in and actually thought she was dead. Her breathing was so slow. Being an ex-vet tech, I checked her gimme immediately. Not good, they were white! I told my parents that white is not a good color (but its better than blue). We decided to bring her to my new vet as they did have emergency hours today. They agreed to see us late this afternoon. I thought, for sure, this was it. Now, my mom’s dog is very stoic and has had a few very close calls. When she got loose and ran across the street (a few times), shes almost been hit by a car, a van and a snowplow. Somehow, she’s made it. She has a few health issues these days and has looked like she was dying a few times this year and always bounces back.
While I was driving in my car, mom was following behind me in hers with her dog. I was trying not to listen to sad songs or any song that had sentimental meaning to me. I put on hip hop and tried not to think that this may be her last day.
We got to the animal hospital on time and the vet had run out for a house call and was running late. We didn’t mind. The technician came out to look at her gums, which by that time were a little better, but not quite pink. She asked if we wanted blood work done, we agreed to have it done. Then the vet came in and they called us into the exam room. I won’t go into everything we discussed there, but we love him! I plan on requesting him from now on.
He was thorough and listened to her history and made us feel comfortable. She has an outrageously high white blood cell count and slight anemia. She’s gotten an antibiotic injection and antibiotics to take for weeks. By the time the vet was done examining her, her gums were pink again! Mom’s dog must have 9 lives like a cat. I am glad she went home and may have a little more time left.
I took an ibuprofen when I got home.


About our last embryo

I have Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I've had Lyme, Bell's Palsy and the Shingles before I was 25. I've done IVF twice, with and without immunosuppression and FET. I am married to my best friend and I am Infertile.
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