Our last shot, coming up

We made our decision about two weeks ago. I’m anticipating all sorts of things and worrying and excited and emotional, but my husband isn’t.
My husband is exactly how I’d like to be. He can discuss something major, like, doing either a Frozen Embryo Transfer with our last embryo or a whole new fresh IVF cycle, and then that’s it. He doesn’t talk about it again. Until, I bring it up. It’s all I can think about. I don’t know if he doesn’t think about it, but he doesn’t dwell on it. He is my rock and he sure does keep me grounded. I’m so grateful to him.
Tonight we went out to dinner (it’s $5 burger night in town) and a little stroll afterwards. I was happy to have my hubby all to myself. No distractions. We did discuss a little more about the cycle next month. More importantly, we decided to make the call to move our last embryo from the RE we used for the IVF and FET, to the Reproductive Immunologist’s lab. Hubby will call tomorrow and get the ball rolling. We want to pick it up and drive it to its temporary home before we try to place it into my uterus next month.
We started to talk a little bit about what may happen and go over some what if’s and what we may do or could do. This is our last shot. If this does not work, we are done. No more IVF’s, no miracles left. I have no Fallopian tubes, one ovary and a partial ovary. My uterus seems to be tilted and a sometimes hostile environment. Add to it my “killer” immune system. Well, you get the picture and I should stop with the negativity.
We are moving forward finally. It was a long year of surgeries and almost felt as if we were moving backwards. We have a long road ahead of us, hopefully, to parenthood. I’m trying hard not to think too far ahead. I do daydream a little about what our child would look like and then I catch myself and snap out of it.
And then I watch the news and cry. God, what has happened to our world.
I am grateful for my family being safe, and healthy and my dogs are pretty healthy and safe. Be kind to each other.

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About our last embryo

I have Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I've had Lyme, Bell's Palsy and the Shingles before I was 25. I've done IVF twice, with and without immunosuppression and FET. I am married to my best friend and I am Infertile.
This entry was posted in endometriosis awareness, excision surgery for endometriosis, hope and love, infertility, invisible illness and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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