Words

Words.
Remember the old saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me”? Yeah, what a crock! I’d rather be hit with a flying stick or stone!
Words can hurt. Words can heal. Words can manifest an emotion or feeling. One word can make a person feel like jello or putty in your hands. Or, they can be a trigger. Especially when you’re infertile. When you’re going through fertility treatments in hopes of a bfp, when you’re going through test after test, taking medications and injections and that’s just the physical part. The emotions range from super excited, to petrified to anxious to happy to hopeful to devastated when it doesn’t work.
Even I’ve said things to other infertiles that has set another off into a blog post. We’re not perfect and we all hurt in our own way, but we are there for each other. Whether we get our bfp or decide it’s over, or in some cases, endometriosis has decided that you don’t have a choice anymore. Unfortunately, there are many endosisters who have had early hysterectomies in order to get a little relief from the pain. Sometimes even that doesn’t work (as I’ve been saying-we need a cure).
Thank you to those sisters that are there, even if you’re silent.
Anyway, I have had a lot of bad words said to me and they started really having an effect when I was in high school. That’s when I really have memories of how certain words can make us feel bad. It may have been better if I had been hit instead. But then again kids can be cruel to each other. That’s why there are so many anti bullying ads and campaigns now. What a great thing, stop the bullying! It starts at home. We do turn into our parents, it’s inevitable. Well, I guess I can’t say that anymore… I was going to say “when we have kids, I…” Well. I can’t change the world that way anymore.
The main thing is that we need to say nice things to ourselves first and foremost. I know, I have definitely said some mean things to myself during our infertility treatments and failures. See, I just called it a failure. Yes, really it was a failure, in that, we have no child. We are here now and we have to keep going. I’m going to work on a new project, one kind word everyday. Every morning, I’ll wake up and tell myself something nice. I think it’s time to start reading Louise Hay books again. Time to heal after the journey with infertility, now that it’s reached the end of fertility treatments.
I feel as if I’ve rambled again. It’s just my way of dealing with the fact that I don’t have any injections to do. I don’t have a scan to look forward to or worry about follies anymore. It feels strange.
So let’s all not be so hard on ourselves or each other.

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About our last embryo

I have Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I've had Lyme, Bell's Palsy and the Shingles before I was 25. I've done IVF twice, with and without immunosuppression and FET. I am married to my best friend and I am Infertile.
This entry was posted in adenomyosis, anxiety, devastated, Endometriosis, endometriosis awareness, excision surgery for endometriosis, food allergy, hope and love, infertility, infertility in the workplace, invisible illness, IVF In Vitro Fertilization, positive thinking and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Words

  1. cindysn says:

    Words def hurt!!! Love the Hay books

  2. Samantha says:

    I definitely agree with this I was bullied for most of my school life and it was a horrid time, but I’ve experienced it in the workplace too. Words hurt like hell xx

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