My hopes, for now

Hope.
What do I hope for now?
Hope for a cure to many diseases, especially endometriosis, adenomyosis, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, diabetes, breast and ovarian cancer, all in the family.
Hope for learning to love myself so that I may help others. Reading Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life again. It may sound weird, but somewhere along the line I stopped caring about me. I don’t mean loving myself in an egotistical way. I mean getting back to myself.
Who the hell am I? I was the infertile trying to get pregnant for the last three years. I was the patient who needed numerous surgeries just to walk straight. Three to fix three! I am not my diseases. They have been running my life for too long. It’s time to take control!
Hope for better health insurance for everyone. So my new friends don’t have to keep seeing their old doctors who can’t help them or don’t have the knowledge of the disease and won’t learn. They also won’t admit when they’re in over their head (like mine, he cut me open and didn’t remove the Endo because he felt it would make too much scar tissue. Instead, he should’ve said that he had no clue!).
Why should they/we have to pay out of pocket for specialists (most of which are out of network or don’t take insurance) when that is the only way for is to feel better for a little while.
Hope for people to be considerate of others. Especially the woman in the Blazer that almost backed into me while I was walking (it’s a one way). Driving is dangerous in this town. It’s like a free for all in the summer. Forget trying to walk, no one steps aside when they encounter you on the sidewalk. Oh, I’m getting off track now. Breathing.
Hope that one day my pain will be gone for more than a month. This cycle was only 24 days long, that’s a first. The acupuncture seems to be working well for me. I go to a 5 Elements acupuncturist. She’s the best I’ve been to. I will write another post about that one day. But I seem to be feeling better this time than last. Must be because I told her I wanted a hysterectomy.
Sending love and light to all. Hoping for a cure for endometriosis and adenomyosis for now. Thank you for your time.

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About our last embryo

I have Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I've had Lyme, Bell's Palsy and the Shingles before I was 25. I've done IVF twice, with and without immunosuppression and FET. I am married to my best friend and I am Infertile.
This entry was posted in adenomyosis, Endometriosis, endometriosis awareness, excision surgery for endometriosis, hope and love, infertility, invisible illness, positive thinking and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to My hopes, for now

  1. Becky says:

    I always find you so inspiring. I also have felt that I’m not sure who I am anymore- like something has changed along the way. You are right though- we aren’t our diseases, and I think trying to have a positive outlook and remember what makes us unique is so important. Hang in there 🙂

  2. newtoivf says:

    I see so much pain here and on Twitter from endo and adeno …I have mild endo but my sister is 5 yrs older than me just had her 1st lap (mainly cos I nagged her to insist on one) and found her bowel and womb fused together. Its such a shitty disease that hurts so many… I’m with you on wishing for a cure xx

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