Happy day

Yesterday, I drove to Newport, Rhode Island. It took almost five hours. Of course it would’ve only taken four if we took the ferry, however, that is a deep rooted fear of mine. Because of my past four experiences on the ferry, I do not wish to ever go on it again. We’re talking waves crashing on the cars on the one and me wondering if I have to swim to Connecticut or wondering if my supposed water dog could swim (yes, I would go to dog shows and take my dog in a crate in the back of a handlers van when I first started out-poor baby, that’s another blog all together). Anyway, I have a gut wrenching fear of going on the ferry now. I know it’s safe and it is only an hour and a half ride but I’d rather drive.
My poor husband was so mad at me for not compromising with his wish to take the ferry. I literally was having nightmares and dreadful anxiety over it. I cried. On Monday, I mentioned to him that I couldn’t guarantee a breakdown and or an embarrassing child like meltdown if and when we go to the ferry. He told me I was too smart to have a panic attack. What he meant, he told me later, was that I was too strong to have a panic attack. Yes, I’m strong in many ways, but anxiety and panic attacks are forever a work in progress. Monday he said,”fine, we won’t take the ferry.” Then he forgot about it. Until Wednesday. I reminded him that I wasn’t taking the ferry. I told him I could drop him off and pick him up on the other side. Maybe we could take it on the way back (he said not to lie and forget it). I just didn’t want to start my trip having a nervous breakdown because I was freaking out. If I could take Xanax or Valium I would!
We had a good time in the car. He slept a little, we hit a little traffic in Connecticut, but nothing too bad. The hotel is another post by itself. I’m just going to say, it’s only for three nights and we will never stay here again.
Last night we walked around looking for a place to eat to celebrate my birthday.
I’ve turned 40 today. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. Maybe that’s because I’m not home sulking or at work. We woke up and it’s a gorgeous day. We has a nice big breakfast, drove around, went to a gluten free bakery and then napped. Then we went to lunch and walked a few miles being tourists. Took a few pictures and then hubby surprised me with my gluten free, wheat free and dairy free vanilla cake. We are planning on driving as far into Newport as we can tonight to get closer to where we are having dinner.
Naturally, my knee has reminded me that I am getting older. It has become swollen and my joints are aching. Time to check myself for Lyme disease again, I believe. I wore my knee brace and iced it when we got back. Maybe it’s not Lyme at all? There could be other reasons…
While my hubby was getting some coffee last night, a little girl fell. I didn’t see it happen, I just heard her wailing. I started to cry too. I felt her pain and then remembered mine. This was the deadline I gave myself a few years ago. 40. And so I am and so it is.
I gave myself reiki on the trip, and whenever I can. I had acupuncture the day before we left.
Now, I am searching for gluten free dining. So far, non of the places we’ve eaten has a separate gluten free menu one waitress had no idea what I was talking about. All the fries I’ve eaten have been cross contaminated (cooked in the same oil as the battered or breaded chicken nuggets). I found one pub that actually has a gluten free menu. That’s where my birthday dinner will be. There’s no way I’m eating at some fancy restaurant that won’t understand when I say I don’t want something and I especially don’t want all the garnishes and finishing dribbles on my plate. When I ask for chicken and a baked potato, that’s all I want. No bed of lettuce or greenery or sauces of any kind. Have I mentioned I’m allergic to raw vegetables? That includes lettuce!
This has been a wonderful day so far. It’s sunny and beautiful, the cake was yummy, my husband is so wonderful (even if he is sleeping again) and the town has such amazing history. I wish I had taken a whole week off. I’m so grateful.


About our last embryo

I have Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I've had Lyme, Bell's Palsy and the Shingles before I was 25. I've done IVF twice, with and without immunosuppression and FET. I am married to my best friend and I am Infertile.
This entry was posted in adenomyosis, allergist, anxiety, Endometriosis, endometriosis diet, food allergy, Hashimotos thyroiditis, hope and love, infertility, integrative medicine, invisible illness, meditation, positive thinking, reiki and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Happy day

  1. Happy Birthday!! Enjoy!!

  2. Becky says:

    Happy Birthday! Hope the rest of your trip is wonderful 🙂

  3. newtoivf says:

    Happy birthday! Glad you’re having fun! Xx

  4. katherinea12 says:

    Happy birthday! Hope the rest of the trip goes well. Newport is gorgeous – I loved getting to see some of the mansions a few years ago.

  5. Becky S says:

    Hi Melanie,

    I found your blog and think it is an incredible resource for women suffering from endometriosis.

    I want to reach out and introduce myself. My name is Becky and I am the Outreach Coordinator for Womens Wellness Publishing.

    I want to let you know that our lead author, Susan Lark, M.D. has just written a fantastic new book on endometriosis, Dr. Susan’s Solutions: Heal Endometriosis. http://amzn.to/14yeSct

    Her new endometriosis book is an incredibly helpful guide to healing from endometriosis and restoring your hormonal health and balance.

    In the book, she shares her all natural treatment program that has helped thousands of her patients eliminate endometriosis pain, cramping, heavy bleeding, infertility and other symptoms.

    Most of her patients have been able to avoid surgical treatments, including hysterectomy, as well as avoid the use of toxic drugs and hormones, like Lupron, with her all natural treatment program.

    A little about Dr. Lark: She is one of the foremost experts in the field of alternative medicine for women. Dr. Lark received her medical degree from Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, and has served on the clinical faculty of Stanford University Medical School. She has been the director of a number of women’s health clinics and health projects.

    Dr. Lark also posts wonderful health features for women on our Womens Wellness Facebook page and she has many devoted fans. http://on.fb.me/19MEZAC

    Dr. Susan’s Solutions: Heal Endometriosis has wonderful information on the most effective nutritional supplements, enzymes, herbs, delicious meal plans and recipes, stress reduction exercises, breathing exercises, yoga stretches and many other alternative medical therapies that she has utilized in her healing program. These effective therapies have enabled her endometriosis patients to recover and enjoy symptom free lives!

    Her book also has great information on endometriosis symptoms, the latest medical diagnostic techniques and the pros and cons of medical treatments like drugs and surgery. It is an all around great book and we really look forward to sharing it with you.

    We’d love to have Dr. Susan’s new endometriosis book be featured in your blog. We would be happy to send you excerpts from this book and provide any additional support that you would like.

    I look forward to hearing from you! I can be reached at my email address, wwp.wellness@gmail.com

    Best regards,


    p.s. Dr. Susan’s books are available through Amazon, Kindle, Barnes & Noble and iTunes

    Amazon: http://amzn.to/13EC6bP
    Amazon Kindle: http://amzn.to/17mCVbg
    Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/15aHA2O
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    Blog: http://drsusansolutions.wordpress.com/
    Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/womenswellness/

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