New doctor, same story

I want what I can’t have. I just got so annoyed on Thursday, my day off. I went to yet another new specialist and I just must be crazy or a snob! I must expect too much from these doctors.
The front desk person did not impress me at all. (Being in customer service my whole life, I can say this, be overly nice to new patients and look nice, first impressions are everything!)
I didn’t wait long for my appointment, that was a huge plus. The doctor asked me in the room and shook my hand. I brought my mom with me for support and to be able to listen and help me remember what he said. That brain fog sucks! He told her she could come in as long as she didn’t speak! (Strike one).
Then began the usual questions as to why I’m there. So I had to tell him about the reproductive immunologist finding my high thyroid antibodies, along with other immune issues. That I did IVF with a different RE because it was covered under insurance and that everything failed. That the RE thought putting me on Levothyroxine would some how help me maintain a pregnancy. I tried to avoid the whole conversation about my infertility. But he kept asking about it and how many times I was pregnant (2), how many kids to I have (0) and when did I lose the pregnancies, early on.
Now, I know these are normal questions, but I had already had an emotionally rough start to my day. I really want to stop being so reactive about little things. I’m debating on getting rid of my Facebook account. It’s like baby bragging central. But I do like to keep in touch with friends.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for my friends, but it hurts so much! So much! My heart even skipped a beat. One of my old friends is pregnant with twins and found out it’s a boy and a girl. I find out by clicking on my FB app and seeing that in the beginning of my day. As I swallow the giant lump in my throat, another friend is talking about her baby that is due and another few, first day of school.
Since I was getting ready to go out in public, I choked back the tears and got mad instead. But not too mad. I feel guilty being angry about that. I mean I know they’ve all struggled either to have a first child or their second, but I still feel like it was supposed to be us! I was supposed to have twins, a boy and a girl (or so the psychic told me). I’m still mad that I believed him and I felt it in my heart that it was true. So sad. He was right for so many people. Just not me. I did email him to let him know, since he’s a world renown psychic and all.
Back to the appointment.
I answered the questions he asked honestly. I am freezing most of the time, my skin is dry and I have frequent indigestion, brain fog, aches and pains, breathing issues, more food allergies, etc. I told him that I had played with my dose of Levothyroxine alternating between 25, 50 and skipping a day because I was getting hyper symptoms. He said that maybe I don’t need to be on any medication. Then I asked about T3 replacement and he just waived his hand in the air and mumbled something.(Strike two)
I told him that even before I went on medication, my numbers were always in the normal range. It’s true. I was never in the hypothyroid range, my TSH was always normal as was my T4. Then I told him I had gone to a Nurse Practitioner. He rolled his eyes and started saying very negative things. And from then on, he was dismissing everything I asked him. He also went back to, “you have to take your Synthroid at the dose that was prescribed to you”. Like the symptoms didn’t matter. (Strike three) I asked about using iodine supplements, didn’t even get out my entire question and he said “you’re not hyperthyroid”. Ok. I did NOT ask about radioactive iodine, dude! I told him I had more frequent anxiety and he said he knows. Ok.
Then I got examined. No, this was actually good. Best thyroid exam ever. Very thorough. He listened to my heart and lungs, looked in my mouth abd spent a lot of time feeling my neck. That impressed me and hurt a lot.
My thyroid is very large. He said we should repeat the ultrasound. Then he said he doesn’t think it’s thyroid cancer. Nice! There is only a 3% chance of that. Right. (There was only a 1% chance of “healing haze” after my LASIK eye surgery and I got it! Those odds mean nothing to my body-it has its own rules).
But I have no symptoms. Yup. He actually said I have no symptoms of thyroid disease. He looked pretty serious, but I’m hoping he was just joking and I just don’t know his personality. Maybe?
What I’m looking for? A doctor that treats my symptoms of the dis-ease, not one that looks at the numbers and says I can’t feel that way. A doctor that looks at all of me. Treats me as a whole. Not, if you’re having migraines, go to the ophthalmologist. If you’re having back pains and knee pains, go to the orthopedist. Abdominal pains, oh no one wants to touch that. Complain that you’re not thinking clearly or forgetting things, get told to take a vacation. Have a cortisol test results show that you have low cortisol levels, GP says go to endocrinologist, endocrinologist poo poo’s the question but adds on an AM cortisol test to blood work to be done in 6 weeks after you take the original dose of medication that isn’t helping you anyway, just to shut you up. And he’s only checking my TSH and T4 (um, do any endocrinologist know that there are other tests for the thyroid function and other hormones that effect your thyroid?) Then I ask about hormone levels being off again and get told to see the gynecologist.
So is this all in my head? That’s what they seem to think. I know I’m not imagining it because I know other women with Hashimoto’s and they have the same issues. But apparently I have no symptoms. Fine. I’ll use him to make sure I don’t have thyroid cancer and go from there.
I’ve already made my appointment. In two weeks, I’ll have my very first mammogram, then a chest X-ray (prescribed by my primary care physician, because of my thyroid symptom that doesn’t exist) and my thyroid ultrasound. I’m not cooking dinner that night!

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About our last embryo

I have Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I've had Lyme, Bell's Palsy and the Shingles before I was 25. I've done IVF twice, with and without immunosuppression and FET. I am married to my best friend and I am Infertile.
This entry was posted in adenomyosis, anxiety, devastated, Endometriosis, food allergy, Hashimotos thyroiditis, hope and love, infertility, invisible illness and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to New doctor, same story

  1. 😦 If I have learned anything through this journey, I have learned that you shouldn’t just trust your doctors. After going through tons of doctors that told me everything was normal… I’ve learned that I’m not. Trust your body! Don’t let them treat you like shit. You need to be your own advocate. You’re not crazy. Sorry you have to deal with all of this. 😦

  2. Lisette says:

    So frustrating! I can understand your anger and irritation in dealing with this guy. Go with your instincts, you know your body best. And I can totally relate on the Face/Babybook sidebar. I had to ditch it in the end, I’m tired of feeling inadequate and shitty about myself all the freaking time

  3. Kristen says:

    I have an appointment with a new doc on Friday. I am afraid of getting the same type of treatment. Going to a GI specialist. I am takin my post op report to prove that my surgery (which was done by an endo specialist) found severe adhesions and endo on my bowel. I figure he won’t be able to tell me I am “normal” if I walk in with proof that I am not. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I definitely feel your pain and frustration. I hope your next appointment goes better than your first.

  4. Aubree. says:

    Definitely sounds like it could be Hashimoto’s. Have you not been diagnosed with this?
    Completely understand the Facebook thing. I’ve ended up liking a bunch of different inspirational pages to break up all the baby mayhem, lol.
    I hope you get things figured out soon.

  5. katherinea12 says:

    Ugh, how frustrating! Thinking of you and hoping things get figured out.

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