NIAW-the awareness continues

My family was visiting last week and they left on Tuesday and today was my last day of work before starting my training for my new job next week. Last Wednesday, I was sitting at the aquarium with my cousin and his family. Looking around at all of these families, everyone had one, two, three or four children, I was briefly saddened. I was reminded of my losses.
I am truly okay with it now. It just brought back the pain from last year. This time last year we were prepping for our last ditch IVF cycle. The blood work was done, all we had to do was wait for my cycle to begin. We were very excited and very hopeful. A fresh new cycle would definitely help us get better quality embryos. A bunch more, so that, if this one didn’t work, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe we could do a frozen cycle one day or have enough for a surrogate (if we won lotto).
This was the same time we transported our last embryo from one lab to another. Wondering if we would use that embryo or have enough to keep it on ice.
The wondering is now gone.
This is NIAW. There are so many of us “infertiles” out there. Be kind. Change the way you talk to the people you’ve just met. It drives me crazy when I just met someone and they say,”So, are you married?” “Yes.” “Do you have any kids?” Ok just stop! First of all, if I had kids and want to tell a perfect stranger I have them, I will. Obviously, it’s a sore subject for a lot of us. I used to just say “no, but we are trying.” Now I smile and say, “Well, no, I don’t have children, I can’t have them. I do have two dogs. Do you have any kids or animals?” For some reason, that usually ends the line of questioning.
I’m now taking a baby aspirin a day again. More on that later.

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About our last embryo

I have Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I've had Lyme, Bell's Palsy and the Shingles before I was 25. I've done IVF twice, with and without immunosuppression and FET. I am married to my best friend and I am Infertile.
This entry was posted in adenomyosis, devastated, egg retrieval, Embryo transfer, embryos, Endometriosis, endometriosis awareness, food allergy, Hashimotos thyroiditis, hope and love, hydrosalpinx, IBS, infertility, infertility in the workplace, invisible illness, IVF In Vitro Fertilization, laparoscopy, laparotomy/c-section scar, reproductive immunology and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to NIAW-the awareness continues

  1. hannahlkuhn says:

    I respond the same way! Instant conversation shut down.

  2. rachelmeeks says:

    I’m very new to the infertility world. I mean I’ve read yours and other blogs all this time of course, but only recently did we start examining the possibility that it’s real for me. We’re trying to concieve naturally but my doc is seeing red flags – because I’m stubborn I insisted on giving us a few more months before we do another endo surgery and try and figure out fertility. It’s very harrowing! And so much pressure! And all the pressure makes me want to KILL ANYONE WHO BRINGS KIDS UP RIGHT NOW. Like I said, I’m new to the party and don’t know even a fraction of how you feel yet, but I can imagine.

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