As another Mother’s Day goes by, I’m left again with my thoughts. Tons of them. It’s late and I won’t get too deep into them.
Today I celebrated my mom. She truly is such a great mom and friend. We didn’t always have a perfect relationship, but who does. She was a bit overprotective when I was a teenager, she was always butting into my phone calls and always hung out with me and my friends. And you know what, I’m glad she did that! We’ve fought and we’ve cried. She’s got such a big heart. I’m so grateful for both of my parents. I am happy to have spent the afternoon with my family.
Then I think about the family I wanted to have. How, twice, I was pregnant. How neither one came to be held by us. So many drugs we shot into my body and how it’s left my body. My endometriosis pain increased tenfold after the first IVF. I think I’m still surprised that last year’s IVF didn’t work at all. Sometimes, it really doesn’t make sense.
This evening, once we got back home, my thoughts went to a few of my friends who had miscarriages later in their pregnancies and shave not had any children either. My heart breaks for those who have lost their children after only hours or days and even years, but still way too young. And to those who have lost their moms, there are no words.
I really want to take the time, at the end of what may have been a really tough day for some and wonderful day (especially for those pregnant or new moms), to tell you that you’re loved and to take care of yourself and your loved ones. Cherish them. Cherish yourself. Take time for you. We all deserve it!
On a side note, I haven’t written in a while because I’ve started a new job and have been in training for the last few weeks. I love it already. It’s challenging and exciting and utterly exhausting at the moment, especially the commute (I’ve put over 1200 miles on my car in the last two weeks)!