Taking it in and not letting it out

I’m feeling the effects of mercury in retrograde! I’m so delighted that it ends on Tuesday.
I don’t know when I have ever been so mad or angry in general. At myself. At my job. With everyone and everything. And for no apparent reason.
I had a really good cry on Friday. I had a tiny one Saturday too. Then I got my hair done and cut off and I feel better. Yet, I found myself short tempered this morning. I caught myself before letting those feelings brew and fester!
I wanted to lock myself in a rubber room on Friday. I felt like the whole world was against me. Even at home.
Then I took a few deep breaths and realized. It’s me! It’s gotta be me! If no one else thinks there’s a reason for me to be mad, it’s gotta be all me. And it is. No one can make us feel what we feel, but us!
While I was getting my hair done. I got fabulous advice. We laughed and talked it out. She is a very smart woman (and talented too). My favorite thing she told me, yesterday was,”Don’t listen to the committee (in your head)!” They really do make you crazy. Ideas that pop into your head, then you’re projecting what could happen before it happens… No good! I do it too often!
I know I have not been meditating enough since I got this new job. This new job is great and very stressful for me, at the same time. Think about this:
I was locked in a box for the last year. One year and 24 days to be exact! I only worked with a skeleton staff on Saturdays and we were so busy, there’s was no time for issues. Now I’m with a bunch of new people for ten hours a day.
I guess I really need to take that in. It’s been a rough few weeks. I have to remember not to take it (my anger)out on others or myself. We are always do good and beating ourselves up. Yes, I meditated and got to the gym today! Plus, I’m on day two of my period, I guess I was a bit hormonal as well, yikes.
It will get better. I just need to breathe.

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About our last embryo

I have Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I've had Lyme, Bell's Palsy and the Shingles before I was 25. I've done IVF twice, with and without immunosuppression and FET. I am married to my best friend and I am Infertile.
This entry was posted in anxiety, Endometriosis, food allergy, Hashimotos thyroiditis, hope and love, IBS, infertility, invisible illness, meditation, positive thinking, reiki and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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