NIAW 2015

National Infertility Awareness Week was last week. I don’t really see it as a week of awareness. I’m aware of it daily. 

My coworker’s family member just had a baby. There was a “countdown” and then she was born. I congratulated her and her family and told her I was happy for them all, however, since she’s a coworker, I don’t want to talk about babies.  I did mention it was NIAW and it was a touchy subject for me (plus I got AF too, thanks universe)!!! The next day she tells me the baby’s full name! The following afternoon, she asks me if I want to see pictures! It was a huge challenge for me not to scream or smack her! 

I told my husband the other night that I felt weird that I’m not blogging lately.  I know I didn’t blog much  during endometriosis awareness month in March. I didn’t go to EndoMarch 2015 and I’m hardly talking about my infertility. 

The truth is, sometimes I don’t think about it. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks and I can’t move. I’m frozen. 

It’ll hit me at work. That’s hard. I can’t cry! When I cry, my nose turns red, as do my eyelids. Then my eyes puff out. It’s ugly!!! 

It’ll hit me twice a month. Once, when I ovulate and then when AF pays a visit.  I still have the occasional person tell me “miracles happen.”  I now fight the urge to respond, “not without tubes!”

All in all, I feel like, well at least at this moment, I’m okay with not being a mom.  I’m a mom to my dogs and that’s fine with me.  Being motherly can take many forms. That’s another topic for another day. It’s all part of the journey. 


About our last embryo

I have Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I've had Lyme, Bell's Palsy and the Shingles before I was 25. I've done IVF twice, with and without immunosuppression and FET. I am married to my best friend and I am Infertile.
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3 Responses to NIAW 2015

  1. Elisha says:

    Sending you some hugs tonight sugars! And yes…you are a mother in many forms and to many people (and pets). Xoxo

  2. gsmwc02 says:

    Sending you strength. None of this is ever easy.

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