NIAW 2015

National Infertility Awareness Week was last week. I don’t really see it as a week of awareness. I’m aware of it daily. 

My coworker’s family member just had a baby. There was a “countdown” and then she was born. I congratulated her and her family and told her I was happy for them all, however, since she’s a coworker, I don’t want to talk about babies.  I did mention it was NIAW and it was a touchy subject for me (plus I got AF too, thanks universe)!!! The next day she tells me the baby’s full name! The following afternoon, she asks me if I want to see pictures! It was a huge challenge for me not to scream or smack her! 

I told my husband the other night that I felt weird that I’m not blogging lately.  I know I didn’t blog much  during endometriosis awareness month in March. I didn’t go to EndoMarch 2015 and I’m hardly talking about my infertility. 

The truth is, sometimes I don’t think about it. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks and I can’t move. I’m frozen. 

It’ll hit me at work. That’s hard. I can’t cry! When I cry, my nose turns red, as do my eyelids. Then my eyes puff out. It’s ugly!!! 

It’ll hit me twice a month. Once, when I ovulate and then when AF pays a visit.  I still have the occasional person tell me “miracles happen.”  I now fight the urge to respond, “not without tubes!”

All in all, I feel like, well at least at this moment, I’m okay with not being a mom.  I’m a mom to my dogs and that’s fine with me.  Being motherly can take many forms. That’s another topic for another day. It’s all part of the journey. 

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About our last embryo

I have Endometriosis, Adenomyosis and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I've had Lyme, Bell's Palsy and the Shingles before I was 25. I've done IVF twice, with and without immunosuppression and FET. I am married to my best friend and I am Infertile.
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3 Responses to NIAW 2015

  1. Elisha says:

    Sending you some hugs tonight sugars! And yes…you are a mother in many forms and to many people (and pets). Xoxo

  2. gsmwc02 says:

    Sending you strength. None of this is ever easy.

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